Mayuko Ogawa

 `Vomit your feeling `   -   The art therapeutic session/workshop                                                       

My main interest through creative activities are within interaction with others, for unexplainable visual expression/communication to reach our mutual understanding between, to be aware of our own thoughts/ feelings resides, where and how.

In the past, I had this opportunities of teaching Art at a primary/secondary school (for ages between 6 till 16 years olds children).

During the sessions, I have introduced to those students, `Vomit your feeling ` session (as I call it jokingly), for 5 minutes before our standard required subject for our Art class, as Art therapy was my main conceptual interest during my university time, and I wanted to actualise what I have been thinking through, and testing out by interacting visually with them, hoping that they would reach a kind of `relax` feeling for their minds and hearts.

By preparing a few pieces of papers on each desk, along with a set of watercolour paints (the standard 12 colours set) , I told those students, to chose only `3 colours` for the day, out of their instinct, without a second-thought, depending truly on their mood of the day.

Out of this selected three colours, those students could paint their `feelings` on the canvas, as freely as possible. That was my intention.

It doesn't have to be figurative, or recognisable for its shape, combination or composition. If you felt like, you are feeling low and irritated about yourself, then you could simply cover up the whole space in black. If you are not in a mood of painting, then you could only press dots, dots, dots on it, simply. Or, if you are so energetic for that day, express freely straight, let your brush jumping around, spread the whole colours as imaginative as possible. Simply express, without `thinking`. That was the thing I kept telling them, as always.

In the first a couple of sessions, those children were a kind of restless, even toward their own shyness were obvious, to paint freely, checking around how their friends were reacting, and so on. However gradually, more sessions have been taking place, more they become so into it, and seem to absorb into their own world on a canvas straight. One student told me, `I don`t know why, but I feel good after doing this!` with a big smile on his face, which made me so happy and delighted with what I do. After the sessions, within the whole space of the classroom, there has been, splashing traces of paints on floor, walls, etc, such a `free` feeling in the air, then at that right moment, there was a moment you could see clearly within those children whose hearts have been opening brightly, that memory stayed in my mind for a long time, with such strong impression.

When we had a bit of spared time after the standard curriculum done, we could pick up those painted papers again, and discussed to each other for what they felt during painting them, or what was in their mind. My intention was, to check or to wonder, if they are understanding their own feelings, and to reflect upon to it, hoping that it would support to value their own feelings in a kind of sensitive manner to themselves. They would say, `my painting became like this, because I was moody after the quarrel with ###`, or `I woke up late this morning, so my mind was blur`, all kinds of feelings with self-analysis would come along later on, with straight-forward, innocent character of children as they are naturally.  It is an experimental level, and surely you could say that, there are limits to understand precisely for our inner flow, though, I do believe that, certainly the unexplainable in a verbal way, yet something inner feelings that needs to be come out, was there in that visual expression. You could see clearly from those faces of children.

Also, having shown them some famous paintings from Van Gogh (Impressionism), Kiyoshi Yamashita (Collage paintings), etc in order to approach those paintings from the `expression of inner feelings`, we had discussions for guessing like, `those dots must be made, because he could feel like this or that`, or `he chose this colour, maybe because ….`, etc. I guess, it would help seeing in other perspectives, and reflect upon with their own feelings, by sharing such things.

All in all, what I would like to keep searching through such interactive activities is that, there are certain wonderful communications to ourselves as well as to others through those visual expression by paintings, sculpture, photographs, all kinds of creative ways, there are diversity within its mystery and its invisibleness, for capability of understanding each other.

`Everything starts from our inner thought/feeling, everything starts from imagination.`

My favourite word. I would love to contribute to the society by supporting the inner well to flourish through creative tools, even though those parts are not easy to see it externally.