‘The eyes of my grandmother’ - 2nd November 2020

My paternal grandmother’s typical saying was,

‘It is better to be deceived than to deceive.’

I don’t remember how long I’ve been told, so I think I’ve been told quite a lot. However, when I was living in this ex-husband’s country and fell into a situation where I was stepping on or kicked,

‘Grandma, no matter how you think about it, the situation doesn’t go anywhere?’

I wanted to speak to her by looking up to the sky.

My grandmother could do something like a dream prophecy. She didn’t put up the signboard openly, though. It felt like somebody was always at my grandmother’s house by word of mouth when they needed to talk and consulted. Beside the veranda where my grandmother was always sitting, there was a cushion for those guests, and every time I visited her at her place, even I, who was five years old, was treated as a full-fledged adult. I was visually signaled to sit on the cushion without any words to exchange.

To be honest, I respected my grandmother and at the same time, I had a “scary” image as a child toward her. For some reason, I wasn’t good at sitting on the cushion right in front of my grandmother. Perhaps because I felt like my grandmother already knew everything.

When I sat down on the cushion, my grandmother first stared at my eyes. I don’t remember how long she was staring at me anymore, but when my grandmother stared at me, I naturally felt like I was in a church confession room.

‘I bullied my brother again this week. Sorry.’

‘I don’t like that naughty boy, so I expelled him from joining our baseball game. Sorry.’

‘I accidentally stepped on a caterpillar. Sorry.’

I admitted as many “bad deeds” as I could think of and apologized to my grandmother.

(When I think about it now, there are some parts that make me laugh.)

Though at that time, I was desperate as a child.

My grandmother never blamed me. As far as I can think of, she was smiling at the end.

I think now. That’s how my grandmother used her eyes to clean my heart.

But.

‘It’s better to be deceived than to deceive.’

No, I don’t like either of them.

Recently I think that the golden mean is in-between in balance, so to speak. The pendulum floats. I wonder if I should be in a neutral position where I can’t come to the conclusion that the width of the pendulum is here or there.

Being independent apart from the superficial words on a verbal level. In order to simply feel with the eyes from our hearts.

This is what I believe in myself. I reconfirmed.

‘Be scrupulously truthful, even if the truth is inconvenient, for it is more inconvenient when you try to conceal it.’ 

Boundary coaching session - Tanaka- method / NLP

Intention-orientated, to get the result. This is the key. The key to getting the result.

Even you might feel uncomfortable in the beginning, you will see over the course that you would create your own place of the light, to be yourself, to be heard.

Fears that installed by others will be subsided. You will see through life in a better version of the perception, without being brainwashed by other people’s agendas.

Standing up on your two feet. That is what you will achieve. 

If you are interested, contact me here for the first free counseling session to see if I could support you. 

A workshop `Time capsule` project is OPEN now!

If you are interested, please check out the page `Time Capsule` 

I would love to get to know you a bit better, and explore your dreamscape!

I will be a listener for your story!

Please check out this page ’ memory-bank’ also for a question list, if you are interested in a session with me!

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‘The hands of my grandmother’ - 2nd November 2020