`Surprise me #01` - 8th December 2019

Surprise me

A white wolf in a run-down telephone box at the corner of the 16th century cathedral, where I used to walk down at daily basis to school once.

He has sharp eyes, even seemed to be kept quiet himself by closing his eyes,

yet silently observing the surrounding and at any moment he was ready for action.

Inner -compass, directing the point that I am meant to be? What`s next?

Senses telling me beyond the visual reality, with which, possibly, nobody would not be aware of, even if I would tell about that, then, they simply would show me a kind of odd look.

Boundary and correction - those two `subjects` were the ones I was truly not good at. Surely now, I hope I got better through numbers of testing events.

Once somebody told me ( though at that time I was not aware of his hidden sarcasm in any terms), `This nation is, majority are quite peaceful, but you don`t seem to have red flags in your heads.`

It was simple. I wanted to live, not just to survive.

Yes, I took the risk.

Every one of us, each one of us, has a unique life, which we can not judge from the surface, or one incident.

Before `judging others`, I would like you to know them a little bit better.

Perfection within imperfection

`Surprise me #02` - 8th December 2019

`Next door #01` - 3rd December 2019

My first little girlfriend next door.

Our daily `goodbye, see you tomorrow` kind of ceremony was,

`banging the entrance door ` as fast as, as loud as possible,

for our main entrance doors were facing each other with a short distance of 3m or so.

I was only 3, or 4 years old at that time. It was before our entry to a nearby kindergarten.

In the ordinary, seem-to be eternal evenings, after listening of a call from my, or her mother, we do come home together from our adventure in the neighborhood.

The warmness of the Sun was slowly leaving its traces through the pinkish colors in the sky, echoing somehow with the smell of homely cookings from each house in that area.　A sense of home, for such a time flow.

The same way as my father, her father was a teacher, moving from a town to a town every three years or so.

Our family was the first to say good-bye, or her family was?, I don`t remember now.

But, those seem-to-be eternal evenings and our all interactions were, eventually short-lived.

During those times with her, I started to learn a piano. I guess, looking back like this now, it was very much from her influence. I felt a kind of being lonely, or say left-out feeling, soon after we entered a kindergarten and she got herself busier with piano, ballet, calligraphy, etc out of her mother`s educational list. So I followed her, or simply as a little girl, I might have thought that was a way to keep our connection alive, say, simply to catch time with her.

Anyway soon after, our family moved to another town, my piano along with me.

`Next door #02` - 3rd December 2019

`Back into the water #01` - 30th November 2019

The little window over the kitchen counter.

Voices will be served, always.

`Whatever`…bottom down, my own voice, I could hear,

as if taking a distance from the world called reality, yet,

at the backside of `whatever`, surely I know the paralleled line,

saying that, simply I am not happy with the way I was treated.

Why?

People would say, `oh, you better not to ask yourself `why` any longer.`

which simply gave me a frustrated feeing only to the truth, as personally,

I think, `why ` is the beginning of `changes`, it might not be drastic as `breakthrough kinds, but even subtle changes that would wake us up eventually.

I heard one person once said, `in a way, too easy to say, or even to do spiritual good deeds, but facing some social issues to tackle for the better might be harder.`

How are you expressing yourself? What is really saying about `oneself?`

Each of us has a kind of oddity within ourselves, which needs to be explored for, 

for finding a key to search, `who I am`?

`Back into the water #02` - 30th November 2019