‘The long way around #01’ - 6th August 2020

There is a limitation in expressing verbally for what we really feel internal. Or, it might be like, there are things that we cannot explain verbally within our psyche so to speak. The ways of using particular words, and the tendencies of our perceptions are different from others, depending on the circumstances that we have grown up with, or you were in right now.

I used to battle a lot internally without being able to express fully toward my friends and my family and made me think a lot for the ways I would communicate with them since I was a sensitive one caring greatly for what others would think of me, especially some people who I cared for. Those unresolved feelings would stay in my mind, and that frustration might have been the seeds that drove me toward drawing and painting. The subject of the painting was not a concern, it was more like an act itself, the concentration would ease me and made my mind fully empty. By the time I finish one painting, I would feel a lot better and seemed no importance to why I was so overwhelmed by my own feelings.

What sort of ‘tools’ could you provide for yourself to deal with those unresolved emotions?

As if a mother could install her love toward her child through her cooking, there are lots of ways to express and share our feelings. There are unlimited possibilities of tools when we start to think of it. Depending on the way you express, you would build up your own unique ‘personality’, ‘style’. When you look at one photograph from a photographer, or one painting from a painter, you would feel the creator’s emotion through the artwork,  probably only possible from the creator’s perception in order to create.

A workshop `Time capsule` project is OPEN now!

If you are interested in, please check out the page `Time Capsule` 

I would love to get to know you a bit better, and explore your dreamscape!

I will be a listener for your story!

Please check out this page ’ memory-bank’ also for a question list, if you are interested in a session with me!

‘The long way around #02’ - 6th August 2020

‘The long way around #03’ - 6th August 2020

‘On the Music On the Movement’ - 3rd August 2020

When I was a student at the Art University, there was a classmate who only shared the metal workshop. He was a British guy from Jamaica originally, and we were not that close as our common ground was this practical-based workshop of once a week program. We kind of knew simply our faces.

‘Let’s go for a walk. I feel down since I recently broke up with my girlfriend. You remind me of her a bit so I would feel good by spending time with you.’

**Later on he showed me a photograph of her, but she looked very different from me in my opinion. She had a clear characteristic feature with an expressive face. Meanwhile, I was a kind of rather passive introverted girl who preferred to be in her own imagination. From my own judgment, I was a typical oriental girl.

To the truth, I thought that I don’t want any more unnecessary ‘tasks’ on my shoulders as I had so much work to do at the university, as well as I simply didn’t know him that well. Though there was something about his status that I thought I had better-taking care of.

‘OK!, but I am so busy with my projects, so maybe we can have a walk after school a bit.’

More than my expectation, I learned a lot from this walking and the interaction with him. Our walkings were not normal. First of all, he avoided anything ‘normal’ or ‘standard’ from his current views. We avoided the main paths that most of the students from our uni were taking. 

‘I know something. Right now I should not do what I used to do. I should go beyond that.’ We even avoided deciding our purpose of going ‘where to’.

After repeating these ‘unusual’ walks, I started to enjoy our walks taking as a kind of a computer game program. When we found a mysterious stranger on the way, we followed him/her as if being in a movie of the James Bond, and created, explored our imaginative life story about the stranger.

Humans are interesting. We carefully would observe not only the outfits and the way they would walk, but also how they would shop, which vegetable to pick and how they judge one by the way they touch, smell, and when they would smile alone with their own actions.

We would discover a lot through those detective moves. 

What were you doing then? You might ask. I guess we were trying to take off our personal ‘perception’. As he said above ‘going beyond’, we were hoping to see the world in a fresh new manner, in order to stand up on two feet again after the break-up from his girlfriend, in order to understand oneself. In order to get over and go beyond.

After a short while, he decided to take a year break from the uni and left for ‘the world trip’. He decided all very fast. 

I met him once after he came back from his adventure, ‘the world trip’. I still remember now how he showed up smiling fully with his new hippy appearance. He traveled from one country to the other by buying the last moment discount tickets, or by helping and being helped various people on the way, always bought a ‘one-way ticket’ but managed to be back his home.

When I am confused about my next move in my life, I sometimes think of this story.

A workshop `Time capsule` project is OPEN now!

If you are interested in, please check out the page `Time Capsule` 

I would love to get to know you a bit better, and explore your dreamscape!

I will be a listener for your story!

Please check out this page ’ memory-bank’ also for a question list, if you are interested in a session with me!

‘Written in the Star’ - 3rd August 2020

‘Precious Time Capsule’ - 31st July 2020

When I was in the middle of my daily walk, some vision from my childhood came up to my mind. Some vision as if trying to hint out some clues for my internal desire? Or Some clues for my next step moving forward?

Having such an imaginative talk internally, I dropped by to a shop without thinking much for finding things in there. As I didn’t have any missions to buy things, I was simply letting my eyes wandering around as my curiosity drives me. Then, somehow, I bought some toy-like display objects which have no functional purposes. A weird-looking finger size porcelain object, one gift box with a cheesy wrapping paper. Though I had no ideas for what intention I have with those random objects. One thing it was clear to me was my feeling toward them. Somehow, I felt like a giggling little girl inside me smiling for my action. A little bit of adventure that she managed to do on her own for a few coins that she had as a child.

This action itself reminds me of something else now. When I was around 8 or 10 years olds, I used to collect things, meaningless things, finding objects from the streets, the nearby mountain, or exchanging things with friends. Then, my memory goes toward, those letters. Those letters that I collected around the time. It was popular things to do at my school, exchanging physical letters or sharing one notebook with a few close friends and write a diary to circulate during a class. I packed up those letters and notebooks in one carton box along with my collection of weird found objects and even further I have carefully wrapped up this carton box with one plastic rubbish bag so that it can be protected even under a harsh rainy condition. Then I buried this box deep under the earth on the back garden of the house where I used to live around that age. I completely forgot about this memory for a long while. I don’t even know why it did come up to my mind in such a way as this. I don’t collect things anymore, as I used to collect like this memory directing my tendency to be. Though I know that my collection from this childhood memory shows, that I was curious about something odd in shapes or curious to know why I was attracted to a certain thing, or finding things in unexpected locations, etc. As if checking behind one stone, ‘Is there somebody or something out there?’

Objects are not just objects. There is a certain association with our own psyche, I guess. At this our contemporary era having so many electric devices to communicate with each other, and surely I enjoy this present convenience at that same time, I do love these physical letters that would stay with us for a long long period as a kind of gift from our past.

Why did I keep those letters buried under the earth at that time? Maybe it was a kind of surprise intention to the future me? Possibly it was a little secret from my parents and others with the fact that I buried them since I guess that some stories written in those notebooks or letters, were kind of private talks between friends only even we were so small at that time. 

One thing is sure is that I must have been very much looking forward to opening those stories again one day when I was a lot bigger, like a time capsule from my childhood. 

What happened to this time capsule of mine? I do wonder. Though I have no clues to find it any longer since we moved out of the house soon after due to my father’s profession.

A workshop `Time capsule` project is OPEN now!

If you are interested in, please check out the page `Time Capsule` 

I would love to get to know you a bit better, and explore your dreamscape!

I will be a listener for your story!

Please check out this page ’ memory-bank’ also for a question list, if you are interested in a session with me!

‘Art is My Music’ - 31st July 2020